Sta.sh
My last journal was from last July, and well, shit's getting stale.
Let's see. Where are things now?
1. I hate my father. I really, really hate my father. My mother is essentially tolerable, but I don't want him in my life when I'm older. At all. It's like, cool, you might be nice to me 12% of the time now...but you were an utter asshole to me for the first 12 years. And you're still 88% of an asshole now. This did teach me something, though, which is
2. Never wait to do anything a moment longer than you have to. One second is too late. I honestly guarantee that. That includes
3. Falling in love. I actually don't think that I love people. I've been in love...what, twice? And it's not even worth it. Love won't keep us together, love isn't all you need, etc. I don't think I'll ever really be in love again. Which is good. Because
3. People suck. In general. Actually, no, I shouldn't say that. Assholes suck...but most people are assholes. Myself included. Usually because
4. Writing won't solve everything. I've realised this. I've barely had time to write lately, since I work and go to school full-time. But I think it's actually...it's like a muscle; it's going away because it's not being used. And that's who I am. I'm a writer. It used to be automatic. And now, it isn't. The words are still there, of course, but they're just...distant. Distance like
5. 3549 miles. Which is the distance between England and I. And England, I think, is where I need to be. It's really, through all of this, the only thing I am certain of, and have been certain of.
Well. Maybe.
6. I've come back to that sort of state I'm usually at, which is...to not really rely on people. I hate to say it, but relationships are awkward as fuck (see above re: not falling in love), and even one of the people I'm talking to is like...a flake. Through text. That's pretty flaky. Not that it's a relationship. It's not really anything. It's sort of shouting clever things at each other.
Ahhh Christ.
7. I miss you, =He6o. WHAR ARE YOU?!
I think that sums it up.
Later.
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Merry Christmas 
